On a Wednesday morning in Columbus, Ohio, about a dozen individuals gathered at the Good Cafe for a weekly session of mahjong. The atmosphere was welcoming, and players settled around three tables lined with tiles and racks, steering clear of laptops and smartphones as they prepared for the game.
The group, comprising players aged 30 to 80, came together not only for their shared love of mahjong but also due to the common thread of profound loss—each person had experienced the death of a spouse, parent, or child. Participants expressed relief in the unspoken understanding of each other’s grief, allowing them to focus on the game rather than recount their sorrow. “It’s not like your ordinary grief group,” said Laurel Talabere, 86. “It’s not something we talk about while we play mahj, but we know the person sitting next to us has also had that loss, so there’s camaraderie around that.”
Ms. Talabere, an attendee since her husband’s death in 2022, found the mahjong class through Sarah Phillips, a grief counselor and social worker who created the group to help individuals seeking a social outlet. “I wanted something more social,” Ms. Talabere explained, reflecting on her experiences in traditional grief groups.
This group plays American mahjong, a variation that requires significant concentration, especially for novices. The game begins with the Charleston, a maneuver where players pass unwanted tiles to one another, before they strategize by plotting their hands and observing opponents’ moves. This intense focus leaves little room for conversation, replaced instead by the rhythmic sounds of tiles being clicked and discarded with calls like “Four bam” and “Green dragon.”
The mahjong sessions offer more than just distraction; they provide a supportive community for those grieving. While players engage in the game, the shared silences carry the weight of unspoken understanding, allowing players to connect without the need for words. The group continues to meet weekly, creating a space where healing can happen amid the shared joys and challenges of life.
